Fearful Hesitant Responses In Decision Making

Making decisions can be difficult at the best of times, particularly where emotions or fear is involved. Making a decision can result in hesitant responses by answering questions with, “Maybe”, “I’ll look at my calendar” or “I’ll get back to you on that?”  Quite often these verbal stop signs are used evasively for avoiding situations or for not making an immediate decision. Some of us use those verbal stop signs for genuine reasons.  However, for those who live in fear of making bad decisions it can become a habitual practice of avoidance with excuse making.

WHY SOME OF US DELAY MAKING DECISIONS

The Fear of making a mistake – Those afraid of making a mistake can become overly cautious and very hesitant for decision making. Perhaps they fundamentally believe that making mistakes is a terrible thing and something to be ashamed of. The truth is that making mistakes is a normal part of the learning and growth experience of being human.

To overcome the fear of making mistakes is to learn by them.  Mistakes are meant to be lessons that we can learn from.  We aren’t perfect and in this fallen world not a single person goes by their whole life without erring.  Mistakes aren’t meant condemning. Most people learn from their mistakes and avoid making them the second time around.

Insecurity and a lack of self-esteem – This reason can be largely responsible for difficulty in decision making for some of us.  Particularly for those who unsure of themselves.  These people might overthink every aspect in detail and take a long time or avoid making the decision all together.  They might want to pass the buck onto someone else at work or seek to avoid social engagements.

To overcome the insecurity start by reminding yourself of all the positive attributes you possess. Spend time doing things you love and also spend time with those who love you and are supportive of you.  Acknowledge that you have a problem, and if the insecurity doesn’t shift then pray about it, and consider talking to a counsellor for added support.

TRUST GOD

Proverbs 11:14  “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counsellors there is safety”.

Habit – Other habitual responses for avoiding immediate decision making sound something like “perhaps later” or “not now.”  To work out if you’re a habitual user of verbal stop signs make a list of the phrases you commonly use.  Then to overcome, make a decision to no longer use those phrases.

God entrusts us to make decisions and knows that we will make some bad ones along the way. We need to stop being hard on ourselves for our mistakes and learn from them instead, without fear. 

Luke 12:57 “And why do you not judge for yourselves what is right?”

Whenever we are out of peace, we need to seek peace. Not by hiding from decision making, but by seeking the face of the Maker.

Trust God – God provides all our needs in abundance.  “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

Romans 14:19 “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding”.

For added support during difficult decisions we might want to reach out to a reliable and trustworthy friend to ask for advice, a family member, or we can talk to church leadership or our pastor, priest or minister.

Sandra Ciminelli
Cred. Dip Couns. (Christian)

Sources:
Belief Net – Making Decisions Without Hesitation
Psychology Today – Matt James PhD.  6 Signs that Fear is Holding You Back

Where to Get Help

Talk to your doctor and see a mental health professional.
Visit CCAA to search for a Christian counsellor near you.
Visit ACA to search for a counsellor near you.

STUDYING AT AIFC

Have you thought about counselling?   It’s a great opportunity to learn how you can extend God’s love and grace to the hurting out in the community.

For those who would like to enrol in aifc’s accredited Christian counselling courses we have two intakes per year for courses commencing around the following months:

–The beginning of each year in February
-Mid-Year courses commence in July

Enrolment Season – opens approximately 2 months prior our courses commencing. Enquire now and fill out the form with your details to receive course information by email.  Enrol online here during our enrolment season.

Those living overseas can study aifc’s courses via our Distance Based Program.
The International  Student Program,  enables those with a student visa to Study On Campus in Sydney.

Note: A Master of Counselling course was introduced in 2018.

Contact aifc Monday to Friday from 9am – 5pm with your enquiries on 6242 5111 or toll free on 1300 721 397