Rebuilding Your Life after Tragedy

When tragedy strikes we can often lose hope in light of the events and circumstances that surround us.   While reflecting on one of the biggest tragedies in history, the September 11 Twin Towers in New York, best-selling author, Mark Stibbe, begins to answer the question we must have all had in mind at the time, ‘How can anyone recover from something as horrific and terrible as that?’

Here’s an excerpt from When The Towers Fall – Rebuilding your life in the Rubble. Part 1. By Mark Stibbe

”…Don’t – whatever you do – lose hope.

When the lights go out and we’re lost in the rubble, it’s hard to think about anything else except the present moment. The priority is enduring the challenges before us in the now. We are committed to one thing and one thing only – survival. It’s not about living. It’s about simply existing. All we can often say in our solitude is this:

I just need to try and get through today.

All this is reasonable, practical and totally understandable.

And yet it is not just surviving the present moment that brings us out of the debris. It is the ability to believe that there might one day be order where there is now chaos, beauty where there is now ugliness, life where there is now death.

It is the ability to cling by our torn and dirty fingernails to the frayed hem of hope when it passes by.

It is the ability to shift from the present to the future tense, even if it’s just for a second.

I know there are some, like Eckhart Tolle, who believe that looking to the future is a denial of the reality of what’s happening now. But I’m not suggesting something as simple or simplistic as that. I’m suggesting we do both.

In other words, I’m saying, ‘in the midst of facing our reality, let’s be open to the fact that now is not all there is, that there is a future, that there is hope, that we will breathe fresh, clean, sun-drenched air again.’

I’m saying ‘let’s believe what it says in Isaiah 61, that there’s a transcendent force in the universe – the redemptive force of divine love – which can create beauty out of ashes.’

I’m saying ‘let’s hold onto the hope expressed even by the cynical author of Ecclesiastes (3.11) that God makes everything beautiful in its (his) time.’

In the midst of my own reality, one of the most helpful comments anyone has made to me is this, “Mark, this is the end of a chapter; it is not the end of the book….”

Mark Stibbe ends with a Martin Luther King quote, ‘We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.’”

The light of hope has to remain even in the worst case scenario in order for us to be able to rebuild.  Without hope, we can sink into depression and despair.

See your doctor or seek the help of a professional counsellor if you’ve had a tragedy in your life that you find difficult to deal with. Talking to a counsellor may help you overcome those feelings of despair, sadness and hopelessness.

Search for a registered counsellor near you – www.theaca.net.au

For emergencies call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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