The Aftermath Of Domestic Violence Hurts Everyone

Recently a domestic violence homicide made news headlines around Australia when Lionel Patea admitted in court to killing his estranged partner Tara Brown in QLD in 2015 after she had dropped her daughter off at day care.  He chased her at high speeds, ran her off the road, then while her car was upside down he bashed her with a metal plate. She was taken to hospital with “non-survivable head injuries” and later died with six face and skull fractures.

The Aftermath

The aftermath of Domestic Violence impacts the emotions and the lives of everyone that knows the couple or family. We don’t often take into consideration the emotional impact domestic violence has on the lives of witnesses at the scene, the police, paramedics and medical professionals working in our hospitals, who in their attempt to save lives often see the victims of domestic violence die as a direct result of their injuries. Although, we don’t always see and hear about domestic violence as it happens away from plain sight, behind closed doors.

There are also many forms of abuse that are considered ‘Domestic Violence’

• financial deprivation
• verbal abuse
• social abuse
• sexual abuse
• emotional & mental abuse
• physical abuse and agression
• stalking
• elder abuse
• bullying
• control & domineering
• image based abuse

Mental health and future of children – Tara Brown and Lionel Patela had a little girl who was only three years old when her mother was murdered.    She will not grow up with her mother and miss out on that special mother-daughter bond that starts very early, developing and strengthening over time as the child grows. She now has a broken family with neither parent to see her grow up nor will they be at her birthday parties nor at her first day of school.  They won’t be there to teach her to tie her shoe laces or to help her with her homework.

The mental health impact on witnesses – Witness Leesa Kennedy had heard Tara’s screams for help and about what she saw Patea do to Ms Brown told the court, “horrified me to my core”.  She also said, “She was screaming at me to help her from you. Did I do my best, did I try hard enough? I felt like I had failed Tara.”  The feelings of hopelessness and the questioning of what could have been done better might play over and over again in a witnesses head.  Hearing the screams and witnessing the violence is a horrifying experience for anyone.  Counselling is recommended witnesses who carry feelings of guilt.  If left untreated these ‘guilty’ feelings can play over and over again in a person’s mind and eventually develop into a mental health issue.

Parents of Victim – Parents of Tara Brown were devastated to see their once beautiful daughter in an unrecognisable state.  Tara’s mother, Natalie Hinton cried as she read the victim impact in court out loud claiming Patea was a “monster”.

She also stated, “My whole world came down around me,” and “My life is not the same; it has been changed forever because of one person’s selfish act. The pain in my heart from the enormous hole Tara’s death has left is indescribable.” When speaking about when she saw her daughter in hospital she described Tara as “broken” and “a shadow of her beauty”.

Parents never expect to outlive their children.  But, in the case of domestic violence homicide, the grief by the parents for their loss and focussing on the pain and suffering endured by the victim is an enormous lot to deal with.

Parents of Offender – Left without their son, a father or a mother’s heartache for the consequences their son will face as a result of their actions can begin to feel like despair, grief and they can go through many different emotions.  His parents will now have to visit him in gaol which can be very difficult for some parents.  To see their adult child locked up a parent can start questioning where they went wrong and as a consequence can end up blaming themselves. Counselling again is recommended for those experiencing mixed emotions through the incarceration of your adult child.

Friends and Family – Close friends and families may suffer shock, mourn and grieve for the victim but some will feel the same things for the offender particularly the offender’s family and close friends.

Public Register for Domestic Violence Offenders

In 2015 while addressing an international Woman’s Day Breakfast in Sydney, Premier Michael Baird proposed a Domestic Violence Register in NSW to record the names of domestic violence offenders.  A pilot program is to be introduced to mimic that of the current one in the UK.

“Offender lists must be made public,” Mr Baird said.  “We can’t have a position where there are secrets anymore. We must have transparency and we must give women the choice to respond on the basis and knowledge of that information.”

Labours Deputy Leader, Linda Burney said, “A register is all well and good (BUT) it will not work, unless it is a national scheme.”

Sources

Domestic Violence Offender Register Proposed For NSW – ABC News

Lionel Patela Pleads Guilty – ABC News

Where to Get Help in Australia

If you are feeling unsafe right now and your life is in danger call 000.

Talk to your doctor who can point you in the right direction.

Visit CCAA to search for a Christian counsellor near you.

Visit ACA to search for a counsellor near you.

Free 24/7 Counselling Services

1800Respect – National counselling service for sexual assault, domestic/family violence – 1800 737 732

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36

Headspace on 1800 650 890

Studying at aifc

For those who would like to enrol in aifc’s accredited Christian counselling courses we have two intakes per year for courses commencing around the following months:

• At The beginning of each year in February.
• Mid-Year courses commence in July.

Enrolments open approximately 3 months prior the the courses commencing. Enquire now by filling out the form with your details to receive course information by email.

Contact aifc Monday to Friday from 9am – 5pm with your enquiries on 6242 5111 or toll free on 1300 721 397