Agree to Disagree, Comply or Conform?

People in close relationships often have disagreements with one another. Often, in order not to fight about their differences, people will come to terms with and accept the fact that neither party will budge from their own way of thinking.  In order to respect and accept the other person’s individuality and opinion, they will agree to disagree on amicable terms without offending.

However, disagreements have always been a healthy part of growth and interaction within friendships of any kind and very much a normal part life.

The ability to disagree is what separates a robot from a human being. We live in a diverse world that is full of individuals with their own backgrounds, upbringings, experiences and intellect, who also have the ability to rationalise and think for themselves.

Loving one another doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything the other person says or wants.  But we do have to respect one other’s freedoms, boundaries and each other’s right to choose.

I love my kids but don’t really like everything they do and will correct them because they are my kids. It’s my job to guide them.

Adults don’t always make the best choices; however, we should love them regardless.  We may choose to comply or to submit to another person but this is not conforming.

What is conformity exactly?

According to Wikipedia, “Conformity is the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours to group norms.[1] Norms are implicit, unsaid rules, shared by a group of individuals that guide their interactions with others. This tendency to conform occurs in small groups and/or society as a whole, and may result from subtle unconscious influences, or direct and overt social pressure. Conformity can occur in the presence of others, or when an individual is alone. For example, people tend to follow social norms when eating or watching television, even when alone.

As conformity is a group phenomenon, factors such as group size, unanimity, cohesion, status, prior commitment, and public opinion help determine the level of conformity an individual displays…..”

Compliance –  According to the free online dictionary, compliance is a an act of obedience to certain rules or guidelines. As is expected for all to comply with the law.

Where to Find Help

Talk to your doctor who can point you in the right direction.

Visit CCAA to search for a Christian counsellor near you.

Visit ACA to search for a counsellor near you.

Free 24/7 Counselling Services

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36

Headspace on 1800 650 890

Studying at aifc

Have you thought about counselling?   It’s a great opportunity to learn how you can extend God’s love and grace to the hurting out in the community.

For those who would like to enrol in aifc’s accredited Christian counselling courses we have two intakes per year for courses commencing around the following months:

At The beginning of each year in February.

Mid-Year courses commence in July.

Enrolments open approximately 3 months prior the courses commencing. Enquire now and fill out the form with your details to receive course information by email.

Note: A Masters course in Christian counselling will be introduced in 2018.

Contact aifc Monday to Friday from 9am – 5pm with your enquiries on 6242 5111 or toll free on 1300 721 397