Why Can’t Women Be Nice?  What Is The Sisterhood?

Why do men seem like they get along with each other better than women do?  Are women too competitive with one another perhaps?

The Sisterhood by Rachel Chin

“I recently caught up with a long-lost colleague. He and I talked and caught up about days gone by. We’d both moved about, lived across several continents. We’d taken our families to Disneyworld, travelled the world. A decade had past.

We chatted about a mutual female colleague, who we used to work with, and I had briefly worked for, and I had said I didn’t wish to be reacquainted. When he asked, “Why not?” I simply said, without malice, that she was someone who I described as “didn’t understand or was part of the sisterhood.”

When he questioned me about it, I found it hard to articulate. And so, I’ve had a longer think about it. It’s been rattling around for many a year. And so I thought I’d jot it down here on my (irregular) personal blog.

The sisterhood… What is the sisterhood? To me, it is about women being supportive of each other. It’s working together; we’ve got each other’s’ back.

Michelle Obama put it so well; “As women and this is so important, you can’t push or trip or be jealous. It’s hard enough.”

That’s exactly the point!

I find, as woman, working with other woman, the sisterhood is all too rare. When I come across a ‘sister’ – one who doesn’t push or trip – this is a sweet serendipitous moment.

I too want to be, and have endeavoured to be, a ‘sister’. That is, share in troubles and triumphs, shoulder responsibilities as well as happy moments. Be happy when my colleagues and staff are better than me at things or smarter than me. Not necessarily steal their clothes or shoes like a real sister would. But I want to support them. To be a safe shoulder and ear and, as the sisterhood, I do not want to undermine, belittle, or compete.

To me, the sisterhood is all about female support. It’s the opposite of the protagonist in fairy tales. It’s about kindred women, who aren’t intimidated by each other. Who just get behind and alongside each other? It’s not complicated. It should come as standard for any female in the workplace.

Perhaps it is an age-old phenomenon. Perhaps there have always been the ‘Queen Bee’s –

I think of Cleopatra, and the wicked step mothers and sisters from the Cinderella or Snow White or Rapunzel fairy tales. Those characters wanted the other women as slaves, to hide in the cinder or locked in the tower to do all the dirty work, or just eat a poison apple!

In the span of human history and culture, females in the office in Australia are a fairly recent phenomena. While post-war women were granted new options in working freedoms; in Australia, women weren’t ‘allowed’ to work in offices in the 1950-60s after they married they had to resign. Even in the late 1980s women were strongly encouraged by society to focus more on family life rather than on their career.

Between 1980 and 2000, women’s employment rates rose substantially across all age groups. The workforce participation rate for married women aged 15-64 increased from 34% in 1968 to nearly double, 63%, in 1998.

So during the 1990s, things moved on, women joined the workforce in droves, we now find ourselves in 2016 and we still have a long way to go.  Yes we might be in the workforce now, but for those women who have decided to be in the workforce, the ‘sisterhood’ is still something needing desperate attention. This concept is still relatively new.

Having been in the workforce myself for about 15 years, I’ve come across all kinds of women, colleagues senior and junior. I have seen the good, bad and the ugly when it comes to how women treat each other. I’ve been on the pointy end of some really nasty treatment and come out the other side alive as a wiser and more compassionate person (I would like to think). There’s so much good we can achieve together, but equally so much destruction if we allow it to happen.

I thought I’d just put it out there. So here are some simple tips for simple folks wanting to know more, specifics, what it means, and how to be part of it:

The Sisterhood:

1. – Doesn’t gossip about each other – it’s not pretty. The office is not high-school.
2. – Is not intimidated by beautiful attractive woman, and isn’t cruel or harder on them simply because they might look just like Megan Fox (for example). The sisterhood doesn’t punish others just because they may be struggling with issues of being overweight or being insecure.
3. – Isn’t intimidated by skill. If there’s someone who’s super smart or better than them at something, the sisterhood is happy and cheers them on, and doesn’t belittle and begrudge them their skill or talent.
4. – Doesn’t hide or exclude other women. The sisterhood goes to effort to invite other women to the high level meetings with key stakeholders, lunches, coffees, meetings. The sisterhood is inclusive.
5. – Offers a kind listening ear.
6. – Lends items when needed (office, personal, otherwise).
7. – Is thoughtful for birthdays and other special events.
8. – If you’re a man, don’t be ignorant of horrible behaviours which predominantly women display which are the opposite of the sisterhood.
9. – The sisterhood is excited about the things you are excited about – whether it’s your child, your shoes, your dog, or new stationery.
10. – Is understanding and gracious when it comes to life issues to do with babies, pregnancy, infertility, children and relationships.

Are you part of the sisterhood? I hope so. The world needs more of you.”

Source & Permission

Written by Rachel Chin –  The Sisterhood

Originally posted on Linkedin