How To Teach Kids that Boredom isn’t Boring

In  Shauna Gallagher’s blog, ‘Boredom Isn’t Boring’ she gives some really good advice for equipping parents with tools for helping kids become productive when boredom strikes.

How many times have you heard the words (in a whiney voice), “I’m bored” or “There’s nothing to do”? Those words can become our most dreaded words to hear during school break, especially if we are hearing them often. But there is good news! Researchers all agree that being bored is actually a good thing as it helps develop creativity. (1) This makes a lot of sense! If life is so structured that there is always something to keep you busy, or to fill in the gaps, when do you get the time to be creative? After all, God is creative (Genesis 1) and we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27).

In light of this, it seems that allowing your child to be bored is a good thing. But how do we go about encouraging them to tap into their God-given creativity? The answer – Intentionality. This sounds counter-intuitive when we are trying to be more creative, doesn’t it? But if we aren’t intentional about change, the habits we have formed over the years and the expected busyness of our culture will simply take over. Before you know it, you will automatically just do what you have always done. As we all know, making changes can be difficult at first. So perhaps starting off during school break is a good time to make the changes as, generally speaking, there is a bit less structure without school and other regular activities. Or even just changing up your weekend routine might work best for your family.

One ‘creative’ way to look at making these intentional changes is by thinking about the saying, “Work, Rest and Play”. It’s important to get a balance in these activities so we can function at our best.(2) This probably sounds a bit ‘adult’, but adults aren’t the only ones who need this balance – our children do too(3). Let’s take a closer look at these three areas and see how we can incorporate it into the age-old problem of our children being bored (and sometimes underfoot).

Obviously, children don’t go off to paid work or have a household to run, but they need to feel a sense of achievement and productivity, just like we do as adults. They need to feel that they are part of team and are a productive member of society. (4) Remember, your child might see some activities as a huge chore and be very negative about having to do work, but your response and attitude can make a big difference to them learning about life.  Say things like, “This is great we get to spend time together doing this”, or “You are helping the family by getting this done”, or “We are a team so we all have to pull together”. If your child isn’t used to doing much of this, gradually add it into their routine.  Perhaps start with one activity, building it up to an age appropriate level over time.

Here are some work suggestions to include in your child’s day:

• Weeding the garden
• Cooking (or assisting depending on age)
• General house work (cleaning, folding washing, making bed etc.)
• Volunteering (e.g. helping a neighbour, walking an elderly person’s dog)

In our fast-paced world, a lot of us don’t seem to get much downtime or rest.  Most of us could raise our hand in agreement with that statement! Even our children are overscheduled these days.(2) It is therefore important to allow your child time to do some quiet activities.  Even if they are a very active child who doesn’t like to sit still, it is critical to their well-being – physically, mentally (5) and spiritually (Psalm 46:10; Psalm 23:2-3). The benefits of having a rest day, just as God did after He created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 2: 1-3), have now been scientifically proven (5). Some of these benefits are decreasing stress levels, boosting the immune system, improving sleep and increasing creativity.(5)

Here are some activities to help your child take the opportunity to rest when they are bored:

• Colouring-in
• Listening to gentle music
• Relaxation/deep breathing (even just a few minutes)
• Lying down and thinking of lovely things (Philippians 4:8). This can help your child learn to switch off their unintentional, negative and busy thoughts.
• Praying

Now let’s take a look at ‘play’. Play can be described as an ‘exercise or activity for recreation or amusement’ (6). (Notice the word ‘recreation’ – this originally meant restoration and recovery (7) in the 14th century).  Also, in the Bible, play is regarded as a normal activity in this verse referring to children playing in the streets (Zechariah 8:5).

Here are some play suggestions, to help your child be creative:

• Building cubbies (e.g. using sheets, large boxes, palm fronds etc.)
• Dress ups
• Arts and crafts (making cards, collage, learn to crochet/knit from You Tube)
• Gardening (growing vegetables/flowers)
• Design a board game or jigsaw puzzle
• Make card games (e.g. memory cards)
• Write letters
• Design a Find-A-Word puzzle
• Themed days (e.g. colours, architecture, fashion, book titles)

Keep in mind that a lot of the above ‘Work, Rest and Play’ suggestions can also be achieved through a Christian lens.  Things like volunteering, cooking for others, colouring-in (Christian themed), listening to Christian music, gardening (growing veges to donate to someone in need), making/designing puzzles or games (Christian themed). Let your child use their creativity to come with ways they can add a Christian context to what they are doing.

The suggestions so far have all been activities that can be done from home, but there are many other activities outside the home environment that can fit the ‘Work, Rest and Play’ model.

Here are some suggestions:

• Visiting places that can enhance their ideas for creativity (e.g. art galleries, fashion parades, arts and craft expos, author events, talent shows, Christmas light displays, musical events)
• Vacation Bible School
• Educational venues (e.g. science shows, zoos)
• Park activities (playground, picnics, clean up environment)

These are just a few of the many activities available. However, remember that the idea is not for you to set out everything that they should do, nor should you provide every piece of equipment for them. How much you suggest and provide will be age dependent, but allow them to come up with ideas.  For example, you might suggest they build an indoor cubby house; buy let them decide the materials they might use.  If your child is younger, you may need to give suggestions, or some choices from which they can decide. Leaving as much of this up to the child will further enhance their creativity. However, when starting out on this endeavour, you may need to be more involved and gradually pull back as your child becomes more familiar with this new regime.

Next time you hear those dreaded words, “I’m bored”, you can respond with, “Great, go and get creative”.  Even just the fact you are so positive about your child’s boredom could help change their attitude eventually too. With some age appropriate assistance, your child can learn to ‘work, rest and play’, utilising that time to grow into well balanced adults. By continuing to help your children develop their creativity, not coming to their rescue all the time or by booking their schedules up so much that they have no time to be bored, you are teaching them about life and independence at the same time as enhancing their God-given creativity.

By Shauna Gallagher – Christian author & mental health nurse who works as a group facilitator, educating her clients on cognitive behavioural therapy. She has her master’s degree in mental health nursing. Shauna has been a Christian for over thirty-five years and has been involved in the life of the church by leading playgroups and youth groups, worship leading and coordinating women’s ministry teams. She’s also the author of Christian children’s book, ‘Take A Deep Breath.’

References

Lifehack

https://www.lifehack.org/419154/children-develop-better-when-you-let-them-be-bored-psychologists-say

The University of Melbourne

https://services.unimelb.edu.au/counsel/resources/publications/work,_rest_and_play

Kids Plus Paediatrics

https://kidspluspgh.com/doctors-notes/scheduling-activities-for-kids/

Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-fallible-mind/201201/the-key-self-esteem-accomplishment

Inc.com, “A Day Of Rest: 12 Scientific Reasons It Works”

https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/a-day-of-rest-12-scientific-reasons-it-works.html

Dictionary.com

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/play?s=t

Dictionary.com

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/recreation?s=t