Social Anxiety Disorder Or A Case Of Negative Self-Talk?

Social Anxiety Disorder Or A Case Of Negative Self-Talk?

Experiencing fear or anxiety in social situations doesn’t necessarily mean a person has a Social Anxiety Disorder. Nervousness can come about with a level of uncertainty causing butterflies in the stomach. These feelings are a commonly caused by wanting to be liked as we all fear being disliked, being judged and rejected.

Depending on what is happening in our lives, some social situations may produce a heightened sense of danger, triggering our fight or flight responses in the brain causing our adrenaline to kick in, leaving us with what feels like butterflies in the stomach. These typical fears usually have more to do with the way we’re hardwired than they do with social anxiety disorder. However if you’re constantly distressed in social situations there’s a possibility that there’s more going on within, and it’s worth seeing a doctor or mental health professional for an accurate assessment.

How Self Talk Fits In

There’s an internal monologue, automatic thoughts and cognition that starts whenever something happens in life. ‘Self-talk’ is an ongoing commentary, an inner voice that includes our conscious thoughts, assumptions and unconscious thoughts. Generally speaking, a person’s self-talk can affect their feelings and actions. These inner thought processes can become negative, affecting the way we think and the way we act. Negative self-talk also feeds social anxiety. Self talk is also related to a person’s core beliefs, whether rational or irrational. Faith and trust also come from our core beliefs.

Examples of positive self-talk

1. I’m good at this
2. I can do all things through Christ
3. I’m a work in progress
4. I’m loved

Examples of negative self-talk

1. I will never fit in
2. I can’t do it!
3. I’m a failure
4. Nobody loves me

What we tell ourselves during nerve-wracking situations is vital to our self-esteem and mental health, and can have a positive or negative impact on the outcome of any social situation. If our self-talk is negative, we are simply sabotaging any chance of being comfortable within our own skin or the chances of feeling socially confident.

Do you know who you are and whose you are?

Knowing who you are in Christ can help Christians challenge their own negative core beliefs about their identity. Read: ‘Who I am In Christ‘ from Joyce Meyer Ministries.

The bible speaks of renewing the mind with the truth, growing in faith, knowledge and discernment. –  Romans 2:12 

People with social anxiety disorder usually experience significant emotional distress in the following situations for fear of being disliked, rejected and judged:

• Being introduced to other people
• Social situations like parties where strangers will attend
• Being the centre of attention
• Being commented about or criticised
• Meeting authority figures
• Being watched while doing anything
• Most social encounters, especially with strangers
• Saying anything in public, addressing a crowd, public speaking or being put on the spot.
• Interpersonal relationships, whether friendships or romantic

Getting Help

Self-diagnosis is not an accurate way to determine a disorder or mental illness as there can be a combination of issues and factors contributing to the symptoms. Social Anxiety Disorder is usually diagnosed by a mental health professional using the DSM-V. Mental health professionals are trained to carefully assess and diagnose clients taking into account everything presented before them during counselling sessions.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is used in counselling help break the cycle of negative self-talk and by teaching techniques to help build up resilience and self-confidence. Social Anxiety is treatable with therapy and you can be re-trained to look at facts and challenge your thoughts, fears and assumptions. Counsellors seek to help people become more aware of core beliefs. Also to become aware of their self-talk, to analyse and see how irrational it may be, and to help people understand and challenge irrational thoughts constructively.                   

Sandra Ciminelli
Cred.Dip.Couns.(Christian)

Sources

Christian Counselling and Family Therapy 3rd Edition – Dr Bruce & Nelly Litchfield

Want to help others struggling with Anxiety?

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