Shedding Some Light On Marriage Counselling

A marriage doesn’t necessarily have to be on the rocks for a couple to seek the help of a professional marriage counsellor.  These highly skilled trained listeners can help couples face their unresolved issues in a friendly, confidential and non-threatening environment.

The bible points out the importance of receiving wise counsel.

Proverbs 11:14  “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counsellors there is safety.”

There are many reasons why people tend to avoid seeking professional help.  These can be a hindrance to any real hope of a positive outcome if the alternative isn’t explored.

Barriers to seeking counselling

1. Denial – Some won’t admit that there’s a problem.
2. Social Stigma – What will my friends or family think?
3. Religious Stigma – Feeling that counselling is somehow contrary to God’s word.
4. Pride, Fear & Shame – They see their past as too horrible to face & won’t divulge their problems or faults to anyone.  Fear of showing emotions.
5. Reluctance to change.
6. They may not see or understand the value in the counselling itself.
7. Some can’t see the marriage as ever going to work with a spouse they have become distant from.
8. Costs Involved
9. Guilt.

How do we know when it’s time to seek help with our marriage? 

Seeking professional help is valuable for keeping a healthy marriage and relationship with our spouse.  Men and women come from two different families that usually communicate and express love differently.  The differences in the sexes alone is good enough reason to have issues cropping up now and then.  Whatever the reason may be, some issues aren’t easily resolved.  This is where counselling can be really effective by enabling couples to communicate their feelings with one another.

Below In an excerpt from GotQuestions.org we find out what some signs are for a marriage in danger.

“Recurring issues in a marriage are like road signs warning of danger to come.  Some of these road signs are:

1. Inability to resolve conflict in a in a healthy way
2. One partner dominating the relationship so that the needs of the other are not met.
3. Inability to compromise.
4. Either partner stepping outside the marriage to “fix” the problems. (deceit)
5. Breakdown in communication.
6. Confusion about the roles of each spouse in the marriage.
7. Pornography.
8. Deceit.
9. Disagreement about parenting styles.
10. Addictions.”

Good reasons to seek the help of a marriage counsellor

1. Ignoring issues won’t make them go away.  A counsellor can listen to your problems and help you come to a resolution.
2. Marriage transitions through different phases.  Counsellors are trained professionals that can help you understand and overcome these difficult phases in a marriage.  https://www.aifc.com.au/phases-of-marriage/
3. Keep your family together. Seek marriage counselling to avoid a divorce which can have a detrimental impact on children’s lives.
4. Counselling enables both individuals to work through their problems to see things from another perspective.
5. Counselling can help a couple start from a clean slate to avoid prolonging issues that can snowball into something much bigger.
6. Opens up the communication lines with your spouse can bring about understanding, forgiveness and real repentance.
7. Marriage is valuable to God as a promise made before him.  God hates divorce – (Malachi 2:16).
8. A Counsellor is bound to discretion in accordance with the law.  Your personal information is confidential.  However, there are some instances which may legally force a counsellor to break confidentiality where the law has been broken.

Talking over our problems with a professional counsellor is exposing them in a friendly environment and looking to work towards a healthy solution. There are so many great positives and benefits to be gained.

Seeking Help

Find a counsellor near you: www.theaca.net.au

Find a Christian Counsellor near you: http://www.ccaa.net.au/index.php?option=com_storelocator&view=map&Itemid=134

24 Hour Emergency Counselling Services

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

Men’s Line Australia on 1300 789 978

Sources:

Common Barriers to Seeking Counselling: Daniel L. Weiss is the Media and Sexuality Analyst for Focus on the Family. He also serves as project manager for Pure Intimacy. http://www.pureintimacy.org/c/common-barriers-to-seeking-counseling/

When should a Christian couple seek marriage counselling? http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-marriage-counseling.html

Image courtesy of: www.freedigitalphotos.net /Stuart Miles