R U OK? Everybody Hurts

“Everybody Hurts” is a song by well-known American rock band R.E.M.

Here are some of the lyrics:

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on

‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends

12 September is national R U OK day – a special day on which we are encouraged to ask others “are you okay?” 

R U OK (https://www.ruok.org.au/) is a suicide prevention charity aiming to start life-changing conversations, and a better-connected world (not in the digital sense).

As a helpful guideline, they suggest the following 4 steps:

This is a beautiful concept. There is hardly a family or community that at some point will not be faced with the reality of suicide. At some stage in our lives, most of us will be able to identify with the lyrics of the song.  And for Christians, this is no different. John 16:33 says, “In this world, you WILL have trouble.” It’s a given! We live in a damaged world.

And therefore, we should seize every opportunity to authentically ask others if they are okay.

By asking this one very simple question, imagine the positive messages you are sending out to its recipient:

• It’s okay not to be okay
• You have permission and freedom to share your story
• You are not alone in your struggle
• You are being heard
• Others have been there before
• There is hope
• You are loved

However, the weird thing is, it is hard to admit we need help! It’s almost humiliating to admit we’re lonely, to reach out and admit we need each other.

We live in a culture where we have become so success-driven, that we have fallen into the trap of self-sufficiency. Surely self-actualisation, the peak of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, means that we should be successful, independent and autonomous, right? Even if the prior needs for love and belonging are the stepping stones to reach the pinnacle, but have now become long-forgotten memories? Not so!

RU OK day really confirms what the Bible has been telling us all along:  we’re people who have been made for community. We were designed to live in community with God and people. In fact, God exists as a community in the Trinity. And made in His image, He didn’t create us to be alone, to struggle by ourselves. Each time we resist reaching out for help or each time we act as if we’re okay when we’re not, we miss out on the biblical truth that “two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

We are not meant to be self-sufficient. And being honest enough to admit this, doesn’t indicate that something is wrong. On the contrary, it’s actually a sign that something‘s quite right! “Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends“.

Are you disappointed by the fact that you cannot go the distance on your own? Are you hesitant to share your needs with God and others?

If so, do you know God cares and has placed you in the community for good reason?

aifc’s mission statement proclaims the significance of “flourishing relationships and changed communities”. And Ecclesiastes 4 continues, “But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up…”  We need each other! We need Jesus even more! No one understands what it feels like to be lonely and abandoned better than He does. Jesus came so that we could be the kind of people He created us to be, living in dependency on Him and others, right here, right now. Our insufficient “self-sufficiency” pales in comparison to His perfect sufficiency.  “Now it’s time to sing along!”

R U OK?

Emmie Hofsink – aifc National Office

Study the CHC51015 Diploma of Counselling at aifc. Aspiring counsellors can study right up to the Doctorate level. New Integrated pathways available in 2020 are made possible through aifc’s partnership with Stirling Theological College and The University of Divinity.

Graphic sourced from the R U OK website at https://ruok.org.au