Despair, Depression & Brokenness Made Me Doubt My Faith

As a Christian, Melinda Vanry has lived with depression, bipolar disorder and social anxiety. It was through those trials that she began to doubt God, and through those very same trials she also uncovered a foundational truth that has strengthened her faith for years to come.

“God can be glorified in and through a believer’s weakness and trials, even the brokenness of mental illness.” Melinda Vanry.

Below are some rather large excerpts from Faith and Mental Illness

It is natural that I have doubted the reality and depth of my faith. If my faith is real, how could I get lost in darkness so profound, I despaired? I rely on medication to keep me from falling back over the edge. It is my safety net, but it is not a magic cure.

The beauty of life in Christ is that He takes all of the broken pieces we give Him, and makes them beautiful. Maybe we cannot always see the beauty, but we can choose to live in faith and trust that He will work it all out to our good and His glory.

If you struggle with mental illness, your own or a loved one’s, I hope you are encouraged by my experiences of mental illness and God’s grace.

Faith, even strong faith, does not guarantee mental health. But it is crucial to being as mentally healthy as possible. When we accept God’s holiness, magnitude, love, and wisdom; we can understand how small but precious we are, and willingly live submitted to God’s commands designed for our good. He’s our Creator, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what’s best for us, personally and corporately.

The church has a way to go to best serve in this common area of human brokenness. I write to encourage all of us in the Body of Christ to live victoriously and compassionately in all the brokenness of life.

What Does the Bible Say about Faith & Mental Illness?

There are many passages in the Bible that tell us to not be afraid, and not worry. We are told to rejoice always. Where does that leave us when we struggle with anxiety or depression? What does it say about our faith if we find ourselves stuck in unhealthy thoughts and emotions?

Because mental health disorders strike at the core of what makes us, us, they make us question our identity. We doubt not only ourselves, but also our beliefs.

But in the Bible, we find many people who display symptoms of depression, particularly among the psalmists and Old Testament prophets, Solomon, too. The psalms show us how to deal with depression: choose to worship and affirm our trust in God, whether we are feeling it or not.

Elijah is a major prophet whose story encourages me in my struggles with faith and mental illness.

When Elijah fell into depression after Jezebel swore to kill him, God did not smack him upside the head and tell him to get over it. Elijah was not cast aside as useless to serve God. God lovingly gave Him rest, then fortified him for his next step (forty days of literal one-foot-in-front-of-the-other steps!), before reminding Elijah who He is and confronting him with truth opposed to the lies and misconceptions within the circumstances that overwhelmed him.

It is a great story, and Scripture shows that Elijah’s ministry and example were still important in New Testament times, as they are today, and will be when God’s plans for the end of time are fulfilled.

In short, mental illness is not a sin. We have tools to deal with its symptoms that were not available in Bible times, but the Bible is vital for true mental health. We are not one-dimensional; our approach to mental illness and health should not be, either.

Permission – Melinda Vanry –‘The Fruit Of Brokenness’