The Futility of Trying To Be Perfect At Everything

The Futility of Trying To Be Perfect At Everything

Knocking ourselves about in an attempt to be perfect in all we do simply causes unnecessary stress in our lives. Counsellor Jess Mannion explains that while excellence is achievable, perfection in all we do is an unrealistic goal setting us up for failure and many disappointments that can lead to mental health issues.

Perfection: How is it destroying your life, and what can you do about it?

“Is it better to be loved because you are perfect? Or loved despite your imperfections?

So often I feel the pressure to be perfect:

• Perfect mother;
• Perfect wife;
• Perfect friend;
• Perfect employee, and the list goes on!

It’s tiring and absolutely exhausting. Not only this, it is also incredibly distracting which does not help my efforts to be perfect, I stumble and fall whenever I strive to move forward while constantly looking in the rear-view mirror. Even in Scripture we are told that “no-one is righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10). That’s right, not even Mary Poppins!

If no-one can be perfect – what makes me think that I can be perfect?

Through thinking over the stresses that seeking perfection causes, I wonder if it is worth the cost?

Perfection seeking can lead to:

• Depression;
• Anxiety;
• Addictions;
• Failed relationships – personal and work related;
• Utter despair which can lead to suicidal thoughts and actions.

So it is not achievable and comes at a high cost – not a wise investment if you ask me!

So what gives me hope despite not being perfect?

Romans 5:8 sums it up nicely. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
It means much more to me that I am loved despite my flaws, as that shows I am a real person of value. This also means that you are too.

I am still loved despite my flaws; and you know what?

• My daughter still loves me;
• As does my husband;
• I still have friends and family in relationship with me;
• I love my field of employment;
• And I have an identity that I continue to desire to grow and nurture into a person of excellence.

Looking at these points, I can see that I have everything perfectionism promises, though never delivers. What’s more, I can breathe, relax, and enjoy this life on earth.
It means much more to me that I am loved despite my flaws, as that shows I am a real person of value. This also means that you are too.
Do yourself a favour and stop seeking perfectionism, rather strive for excellence.

What areas do you find yourself seeking perfectionism?  …”

SOURCE

Permisson – Written by Jess Mannion
Assistant Director – Diploma – Distance Education Program (DEP) at aifc.
Cred. Grad. Cert. in Family Therapy, Grad Member CCAA, Provisional Member PACFA – 22436

Original post – Wellness Counselling

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